Marriage Management

Dr. Aisha Hamdan

Here are three tips to make marriage a pleasurable partnership:

1. Enter Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often
Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah in order to receive His grace and blessings. The marriage then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded.

2. Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations
Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, expecting perfection in all aspects. This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah Ta’ala created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime. By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised when our spouse is much more than we hoped for. This, in turn, will lead to contentment.

3. Emphasize the Best in Your Spouse
Since no one has all the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and develop others. Overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, said, ‘A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing.’ (Muslim)