Getting Married

So your child wants to get married? Here are some tips for parents on how to proceed:

1. Understand your role
Your role as a mother or father is not to be the final arbiter of your child's marriage. Parents have a tremendous responsibility in the process though. They: a. suggest prospective spouses, b. thoroughly screen and check proposals, call references, etc, c. act as a third party between the two candidates.

2. Talk to kids about what you both want
Sit down with your kids and openly discuss what kind of husband or wife s/he is looking for. You may think you know your kids inside out, but may find your kids' ideas about who they want to marry drastically different from what you expected. Remember that marriage primarily affects the two people involved in the relationship. They must like the person they are marrying.

3. Investigate thoroughly
One of the reasons for many divorces is the lack of proper investigation of a prospective marriage partner before marriage. Investigation does not mean just asking two or three family friends or community members. Deeper digging is necessary.

4. Be honest
Parents as well as individuals looking for a spouse must be honest with regards to their credentials, background and other pertinent details about their personal lives. Inflating your son or daughter's educational credentials, e.g., will only backfire when checking reveals this is untrue.