Turning Sex into Sadaqah

With the proliferation of illicit sex and relationships between Muslim boys and girls, men and women, we turn the focus onto the Halaal alternative of sex in marriage, and how to make it satisfying, thus preventing spouses from turning to Haraam:

A basic right of every person taking on a contract never to have sex other than with their legitimate partner is that each spouse should provide sexual fulfillment to the other as part of the bargain. Men generally know what sexual things please them but some don't know how to give the same pleasure to their wives. Yet this is vital if a marriage is to succeed.
The Hadith mentions that sex in marriage is sadaqa (charity) and earns reward because had sexual desire been fulfilled in a Haraam manner there would have been a sin. (Muslim) If a husband is not aware of the urges of his wife, he will be committing a sin by depriving her of her rights.

Here is a recipe from the Hadith to avoid this:
The Hadith mentions an inadequacy in a man is that he goes to his wife and has intercourse with her before talking to her and gaining her intimacy, satisfying his need from her before she has satisfied her need from him. (Daylami)

Another Hadith states: ‘None of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you.’ ‘And what is that messenger?’ they asked, and he replied: ‘Kisses and words.’ (Daylami) To set the right mood, little signals should begin well in advance, so that the wife has a clue as to what is coming, and is pleasantly expectant.